Gathered at the lobby at half past eight only to know badminton was cancelled, without any given explanation. Dragged my sulky face back to my room. Didn't know why such a trivial matter got into me. Feeling the blister growing inside me, I scurried to the 6th floor to cool off. The people there had started their compulsory daily bitching when i arrived. Just a mere 5 minutes after, they started watching The Aviation while I secretly relieved myself from the boredom and went back to my room...
Being alone, oodles of thoughts worm their way into my head, most of which are suicidal. Forced myself to sleep to keep my mind from wandering. Couldn't sleep for a long time.
Wanted to find someone to talk to. Realized that it was too late to call home. Realized that these days I don't really have friends to confide in. Realized that I was my only friend.
Music blasted from my speakers. Voice and laughter nextdoor.
Took my best jacket and put it on. Lashed a muffler around my neck. I needed some fresh air.
Opened the window to feel the numbing wind rush in. Closed my eyes and breathed in hard. Thoughts inundated my mind again, overflowing. Felt something hit my face. It had a cold and wet sensation. Opened my eyes to see white shimmering snowflakes falling down from the darkest sky. Stretched out my hands out to grasp one.
I smiled. And for a very long time, a smile from my heart.
I just had to be alone.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment